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Impossible to Please

How to Deal with Perfectionist Coworkers, Controlling Spouses, and Other Incredibly Critical People

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

Everyone knows someone who is impossible to please, critical, judgmental, picky, and stubbornly closed-minded. These are symptoms of a disorder called obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), but it's common for people to have subclinical levels of some or all of these qualities. Most of the time, it's best to avoid the difficult to please person, but what happens when he or she is a close family member, coworker, or even a spouse? It's still possible to maintain a positive relationship with the right tools. Impossible to Please, written by the authors of Toxic Coworkers, is a manual for dealing with these difficult people without sitting through stressful arguments, vicious insults and attacks, and passive-aggressive behavior. It empowers readers to take charge of the relationship and regain their dignity and confidence in interactions with these individuals.

This book features specific strategies that are immediately effective when conversing with critical people and explains how readers can respond to unfair blame without becoming angry or overly defensive. By setting boundaries, improving communication, and asserting themselves, readers learn to deal with the impossible to please in romantic relationships, friendships, family, and work relationships.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      October 8, 2012
      In this insightful offering, Lavender and Cavaiola (the duo behind 2000’s Toxic Co-workers) address the challenges of dealing with those friends, family members, and co-workers whose standards seem impossibly high. After defining the variations and subtypes of “controlling perfectionists,” the authors explore possible causes for these difficult personalities, including parental influence, anxiety, environment, and other factors. But rather than simply lambaste or dissect perfectionists, Lavendar and Cavaiola shift their focus to practical skills and strategies for dealing with these personalities, such as learning when to assert oneself and when to take a step back, as well as how to deal with outbursts, clarify one’s goals as they relate to the perfectionist, and set “better boundaries.” In a nutshell, the authors recommend “the three ‘C’s of collaborate communication,”, which are tooled to allow perfectionists a certain level of control while empowering those communicating with them. Specific tips for handling different types of perfectionists are offered, as are suggested exercises that deal with everything from assertive communication to ways to build self-worth. Mental health therapy options are also explored in this thoughtful and useful take on a common characteristic.

    • Library Journal

      December 1, 2012

      The latest work by co-authors Lavendar and Cavaiola (Toxic Coworkers) not only delves into the pathology of perfectionism, but helps readers take charge of their relationships with difficult people, regaining their confidence in the process. The authors discuss a number of strategies including setting limits and boundaries, improving communication, and asserting oneself. They cover controlling perfectionists in the workplace, romantic relationships, family life, and friendships. A final chapter discusses how readers can help others dealing with this issue. Controlling behavior can be perceived as bullying, and thus needs to be addressed. This book does it well.

      Copyright 2012 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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Languages

  • English

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